No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
