Dual....:-)
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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