i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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