Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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