I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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