sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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