Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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