$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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