Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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