Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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