I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
