They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize