Yo dont text me then not text me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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