I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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