My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
