even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
