Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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