Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
