she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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