So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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