i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
