i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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