she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
