So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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