I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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