Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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