they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
