i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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