dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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