Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
