Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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