dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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