ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize