You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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