Buhtt sex?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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