My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was born a porn star she said
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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