dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize