I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
