I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's blow job season.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
