Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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