Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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