I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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