He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
A bitchslap is in order.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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