Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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