If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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