I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
