His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize