My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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