If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Success! We fucked roommates!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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