Please, let me fuck your mom
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I won't apologize to a one balled man
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
