I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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