Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize