so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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