Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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