don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
4 words: hood of his car
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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